Mom explains why she says why she says NO to sleepover to her two young daughters

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Sleepover is popular in western cultures; when you sleep over at your friend's house. is a night you spend sleeping at a friend's house. Sleepovers sounds like a great idea; especially to educate children on what it looks like to spend time away from parents, and experience other family cultures. For some children, sleepover occurs as early as age 6 with parental consent.

Sleepover rates are on the decline; because of the uncertainties of our times and parents are saying "no" to sleepovers. Melinda Wenner Moyer, a Science journalist and NYU Faculty
interviewed Rachel Lotus, a Brooklyn-based sex educator Rachel Lotus and here's an excerpt Fromm their discussion;

"Rachel, thank you so much for agreeing to share your wisdom. This summer, right before my kids were going to overnight camp, I was at a BBQ, and a mom said to me, “Oh my gosh, I would never ever send my kid to overnight camp.” Then I started Googling, and I found tons of articles about why parents won't send their kids to sleepovers and camps. I wondered: How should parents navigate this? Was I crazy to send my kids to camp? I mean, first off, do we know how commonly sex abuse happens at sleepovers or camps?

It's a great question. I was poking around to see and I don't think we know — I don't think we have data that is specific to those situations.

I imagine there's significant under-reporting, too, so we won’t always know when it happens.

"Yes — it’s something ridiculous, like only 12 percent of child sexual abuse victims ever tell what happened to them, ever. To share some other stats on abuse: Most of it happens between the ages of 7 and 13, which makes total sense because that is the age range where kids are spending more time away from their parents" - Substack


Another parent told Fox News, "I’m not a helicopter parent. I don’t follow my daughters, who are 12 and 8, everywhere when they are playing. They love to read, paint, hike and play board games. I try to give them a lot of freedom to make their own decisions but also guide them along the right paths, hopefully leading to a well-formed conscience".


"But as a parent, my job is also to protect them and keep them safe from danger. I feel that allowing sleepovers would potentially put them in harm’s way".

"Here’s the thing: you cannot know someone, their spouse or their kids with 100% certainty. Some people are very good at hiding their flaws. Just take a look at the news and see the depravity that plagues our society, where seemingly good boys or men are arrested for horrible crimes against kids"

"If some kind of sexual assault were to happen to my daughters at a friend’s house whose family I thought I could trust, I’d never forgive myself. I’m not the only person who has had their trust in someone shatter into a million pieces. I can handle that but not when it comes to my kids. If I have the opportunity to shelter them in this way, I’m taking it".

"You also cannot know for certain what happens behind closed doors. Parents who you thought were on the same page as you with the same values and morals could be allowing your kid to watch an R-rated film when they have no business seeing that movie at a sleepover".


"I remember I went to a sleepover at a friend’s house when I was around 10 or 11 years old. Our parents were friends and my mom and dad trusted them. We watched a movie that was far too mature for our age and I remember being really uncomfortable. I don’t recall where my friend’s parents were or if they were even home. I never told anyone because I felt ashamed, even though none of it was my fault"

Today, an R-rated movie seems like no big deal compared to what kids can see with the swipe of a screen or opening up of a social media app. Common Sense Media revealed in 2019 that 42% of kids have a smartphone by age 10. That number shoots up to 71% by age 12. The access kids have to literally anything they want to see, read, hear or watch on the internet is unprecedented — and they know how to use it.


Much of my job revolves around following the news and I see the worst of the worst every day. Unfortunately, people are capable of so much destruction to the most innocent in our society and there is no friendship worth the possibility of putting my children in harm’s way during their most formative and impressionable years.


This article appeared on FoxNews

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